i am so disappointed now. it was just few hours ago i thought everything is back to normal, at last! but i am wrong. the strings of bad things just keep on happening. and this is really draining me out for months. how am i going to put up with these again? i really want to stand strong with my own feet again. but why is this so hard? doubts and fears clouded me. and this is really straining me mentally and emotionally. i hate it when ppl come up and ask me why do i look so emo or why am i looking like a zombie. i hate it when testimony time comes around and i do not know what to give thanks anymore.

God, i really want to continue trusting you everyday and surrendering everything into your hands. pls help me to go through this valley of darkness. i know my days ahead are secure in your hands. lead me lord into the green pastures. i love you.